He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
