She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
