Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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