We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
