yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
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she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
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I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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