we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
