So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
worst night to have a conscience
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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