Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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