Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
