Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
