I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
