I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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