you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
