Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
