How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She bit a glass in half.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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