But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
