Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
