His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
