and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
