I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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