if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
