There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
