i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
