Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.