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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (806): View more from Texas

  We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Congratulations on your lack of fetus.

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• (805): View more from California

  I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.

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• (909): View more from California

  Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (650): View more from California

  And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Marry her

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...

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• (805): View more from California

  I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.

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