He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.