Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS