so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
there was a trapeze. enough said
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
