Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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