Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
