in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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