So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize