if you like me you must not know who I am
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
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