I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
