i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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