I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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