To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
