Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
