Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
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uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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