the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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