It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
