So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize