Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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