shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
soo... how was my night?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
