I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
