The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
