While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
