Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
