I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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