And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
my poor anus
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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