i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
