Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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