So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
