Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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