I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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