batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
