i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Use "feeling words"
Yay
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
