this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
