she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
This is the high leading the old right now
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
