This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
