I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
