i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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