There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize