Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
