Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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